Hart Senate Office Building, Room 216
Was the venue for a skirmish that at times got awfully mean
Judge Sonia came in earnest, her cards laid out on the table
Could the GOP contain themselves? Didn't seem that they were able
What would they dig up; just what was their plan?
They simply could not bear that she is not a white man
Her heritage they tried gingerly not to assail
Yet her nomination they were working to derail
Their antics in large part were payback for Estrada
But in their quest to find a smoking gun they could come up with nada
A George Sr. appointee to the federal bench
Still they tried to paint her as an activist wench
They don't mind judicial activism when the result yielded is "right"
As when SCOTUS, in 2000, gave us eight years of Prez-light
Handing W the election, which it did in Bush v. Gore
So much for restraint -- a concept the Supremes did blatantly ignore
The Judge underscored her belief in stare decisis
Indicating she's unlikely to spark a constitutional crisis
Further, she said the document is not living, but "immutable"
Her constructionist philosophy now clearly irrefutable
She's got more federal court experience than any nom in 100 years
That didn't prevent them from pelting her with fallacious smears
They've crammed the "wise Latina" speech for months now down our throats
Because the truth is they couldn't find anything that floats
A "traditionalist" view of judging she told them she espoused
And still the red staters' passion was collectively aroused
'You believe the heart is what compels legal conclusions!'
"No" she answered, trying to dispel such nonsensical illusions
The good ol' boys knew they couldn't pull off a filibuster
Enough votes they are thankfully unable now to muster
It's clear both sides were drawing lines in the sand
Since Barack's next High Court pick may soon be close at hand
So they resorted to portraying her as a partisan zealot
Certainly her record does nothing to compel it
Thousands of cases in which she's proven a fair jurist
While across the aisle motivations were anything but the purest
Check out the Dixie triplets: Sessions, Cornyn, and Graham
Looking not to investigate, but clearly just to slam
What can we say now about that Party's tent?
So much for meaningful advice and consent
Lindsey called her a bully, sounding quite inane
Especially considering his BFF is John McCain
The "gentleman" from Texas morosely wearing quite a frown
Well, at least he told the Judge she'd get the "up or down"
As for Jefferson Beauregard -- from federal court rejected
(An experience that's clearly left him bitter and dejected)
He claimed the use of life experience "goes against the American ideal"
When will these old Southern guys finally get real?!
But from outside the chamber, Buchanan's topped them all
Didn't really think even he could have such gall
Accusing her of having had "a lifelong resolve to discriminate"
Just the type of propaganda he loves to proliferate
While in her career she's been a model of professionality
He takes perverse pleasure in attacking her nationality
Pat, instead of spending your time on nasty Sonia-bashing
Go find that creek with Todd and hold Levi under till he stops thrashing!!
So, to our friend from the Circuit Second
With these unworthy adversaries you have gracefully reckoned
We look forward to seeing you at One First Street in the fall
As the newest member of The Nine we know you will stand tall
22 July 2009
14 July 2009
A Higher Calling, Indeed
Miss Alaska has resigned
24/7 the pundits have opined
Rick Sanchez thought she might be with child again
What's he smoking at CNN?
She cut and run the day before 4th of July
Leaving so many to wonder why
Perhaps she's taking a gig with Dave for a while
Convinced finally that he's no pedophile
Clearly other options she is looking to explore
Maybe she'll join Bristol on her abstinence tour
Or take a class in geography
Then tell us what other places she can see
The whole matter is really starting to smell
Only one who's enjoying it is Sean Parnell
Pit bull it turns out she is not
Just a skirt with nice heels soon to be forgot
Who could have predicted this rash move none can understand
Truly shocking to her Party -- the one just Old, not Grand
And having lost, of late, more than a few good men
What are they to do now without their mother hen?
Seems it's down to Pawlenty and Mitt
Neither blessed with much charm, talent, or wit
They could tap Bobby Jindal, after that stellar rebuttal
His fatuous analysis served only to befuddle
The rumors untrue she first spoke of this with Rudy
It was just a friendly call to get some hosting tips from Judy
What to serve after the meal at her soiree in Wasilla
She wanted to make chocolate moose but Mrs. G proposed vanilla
Her announcement made on the shore of Lake Lucille
Seems with the per diem she's been getting quite a deal
She rambled incoherently, never got down to brass tacks
Her speech utterly devoid of any sense or facts
She had the sheer audacity to invoke the name of Lincoln
Even Big Mac was left wondering what he could've possibly been thinkin'
Republicans who thought at first she was their perfect tonic
Had to grudgingly admit that now most find her quite demonic
These "silly accusations," she whined, are tantamount to insanity
Well, once her desk is cleared we'll need not contend with her inanity
Poor Poppy Jim returned from fishing in a chipper mood
Only to learn his dear son Todd would no longer be first dude
She claimed the state had wasted money better spent to build a road
You betcha she knows we know that excuse is just a load
To deflect from Housegate we heard cries of 'Media: Unfair!'
Reminiscent of her '08 response to high priced clothing she did wear
How ironic she told her audience "life is about choices"
When for the Lifers she's become one of the loudest voices
She informed the people of her state she won't serve as a lame duck
Now back to her true calling as a "(Hockey) Mom I'd Like to F#*k"
We heard that after her big speech she spent some time, uh, tweeting
It seems she still could not explain just why she was retreating
"Act in accordance to your conscience" -- that's all she wrote
Was that the best she had to offer those who'd given her their vote
ABC's Ms. Behar noted she's a very pretty girl
Which put her right wing co-host into quite a whirl
The former tried to mollify: "She is a superstar"
Alas, little Miss Lizzie lacks the smarts with Joy to spar
Her camp lays blame for this morass on Couric and on Fey
How much better it would be if those pesky gals just went away
And it's clearly female journalists she does seem to abhor
Can you believe she's got the balls to sue HuffPo's Shannyn Moore?!
Even from her friends at Fox, reviews were far from glowing
Liz Trotta called her "wacky" and wished that she'd get going
The commentary was spot on, though we already knew
"Inarticulate" and "flaky" -- we think time's come to say 'adieu'
Perhaps most shocking was the dish from much esteemed Mr. Rove
Don't think even he bought the fantastical tale she wove
He cast doubt on her specious claims our Ship of State she could steer
Might be the first time Karl's said something we could bear to hear
Soon-to-be-ex-Governor, a final thought for you
Just one last hurrah before your time is through
How 'bout a stint on late night with those whips named Bill and Jon
Then we can at long last bid you "Goodbye, Good Luck, Be Gone!!"
24/7 the pundits have opined
Rick Sanchez thought she might be with child again
What's he smoking at CNN?
She cut and run the day before 4th of July
Leaving so many to wonder why
Perhaps she's taking a gig with Dave for a while
Convinced finally that he's no pedophile
Clearly other options she is looking to explore
Maybe she'll join Bristol on her abstinence tour
Or take a class in geography
Then tell us what other places she can see
The whole matter is really starting to smell
Only one who's enjoying it is Sean Parnell
Pit bull it turns out she is not
Just a skirt with nice heels soon to be forgot
Who could have predicted this rash move none can understand
Truly shocking to her Party -- the one just Old, not Grand
And having lost, of late, more than a few good men
What are they to do now without their mother hen?
Seems it's down to Pawlenty and Mitt
Neither blessed with much charm, talent, or wit
They could tap Bobby Jindal, after that stellar rebuttal
His fatuous analysis served only to befuddle
The rumors untrue she first spoke of this with Rudy
It was just a friendly call to get some hosting tips from Judy
What to serve after the meal at her soiree in Wasilla
She wanted to make chocolate moose but Mrs. G proposed vanilla
Her announcement made on the shore of Lake Lucille
Seems with the per diem she's been getting quite a deal
She rambled incoherently, never got down to brass tacks
Her speech utterly devoid of any sense or facts
She had the sheer audacity to invoke the name of Lincoln
Even Big Mac was left wondering what he could've possibly been thinkin'
Republicans who thought at first she was their perfect tonic
Had to grudgingly admit that now most find her quite demonic
These "silly accusations," she whined, are tantamount to insanity
Well, once her desk is cleared we'll need not contend with her inanity
Poor Poppy Jim returned from fishing in a chipper mood
Only to learn his dear son Todd would no longer be first dude
She claimed the state had wasted money better spent to build a road
You betcha she knows we know that excuse is just a load
To deflect from Housegate we heard cries of 'Media: Unfair!'
Reminiscent of her '08 response to high priced clothing she did wear
How ironic she told her audience "life is about choices"
When for the Lifers she's become one of the loudest voices
She informed the people of her state she won't serve as a lame duck
Now back to her true calling as a "(Hockey) Mom I'd Like to F#*k"
We heard that after her big speech she spent some time, uh, tweeting
It seems she still could not explain just why she was retreating
"Act in accordance to your conscience" -- that's all she wrote
Was that the best she had to offer those who'd given her their vote
ABC's Ms. Behar noted she's a very pretty girl
Which put her right wing co-host into quite a whirl
The former tried to mollify: "She is a superstar"
Alas, little Miss Lizzie lacks the smarts with Joy to spar
Her camp lays blame for this morass on Couric and on Fey
How much better it would be if those pesky gals just went away
And it's clearly female journalists she does seem to abhor
Can you believe she's got the balls to sue HuffPo's Shannyn Moore?!
Even from her friends at Fox, reviews were far from glowing
Liz Trotta called her "wacky" and wished that she'd get going
The commentary was spot on, though we already knew
"Inarticulate" and "flaky" -- we think time's come to say 'adieu'
Perhaps most shocking was the dish from much esteemed Mr. Rove
Don't think even he bought the fantastical tale she wove
He cast doubt on her specious claims our Ship of State she could steer
Might be the first time Karl's said something we could bear to hear
Soon-to-be-ex-Governor, a final thought for you
Just one last hurrah before your time is through
How 'bout a stint on late night with those whips named Bill and Jon
Then we can at long last bid you "Goodbye, Good Luck, Be Gone!!"
02 July 2009
Ode to Our Elected Officials
Last week’s headline was quite salacious
“Gov. With Latina Quite Curvaceous”
Guess he found someplace finer
Than his home state of South Carolina
Who’d have expected such an abomination
From the chair of the Republican Governors Association?
It would almost be hilarious
If the situation were not so precarious
Now it’s anyone’s guess who is going to be
The presidential nom for the GOP
They’ve lost Ensign and now Sanford too
Oh, what are the good ol’ boys gonna do?
With all the trouble that they’ve had
That chick from Alaska ain’t looking so bad
A start toward 2012 that is anything but auspicious
But oh, how exceedingly delicious!
What a jolt from a man so very feckless
Conduct absolutely reckless
For his spouse and kids we do mourn
As he is now the object of public scorn
We are quite surprised he had such temerity
Considering the consequences and their severity
“I just met a girl named Maria” he is reported to have said
She rendered him unable to think with his (larger) head
At the Atlanta airport he was given away
In Buenos Aires he wanted to stay
Far had he been from the Appalachian Trail
His staffers just happy his paramour was not male
In that vein, for release he did not have to beg
Certainly he was no Larry Craig
And while his behavior does appall
At least he wasn’t getting it in a bathroom stall
The impact of his actions was far from de minimus
Seems he was getting his own package stimulus
Not home with his boys on Father’s Day
With his sweet little novia would he rather play
Back in the 90’s he voted to impeach
For him Clinton’s saga had no lesson to teach
Though not with an intern named Lewinsky
His chica was surely also on bended knee
His cheating is not what got his cronies hot under their collars
Their ire wasn’t raised till they learned he had used tax dollars
None seemed to mind that while at home surely was he pretending
Only now are they perturbed that state money he was spending
His emails made public for all to read
At least they’re more vibrant than his legislative screed
What’s with these Republicans and their illicit trysts today
Don’t they get enough pleasure writing checks to the NRA?
To be fair, it’s rampant across the aisle too
Plaguing not just the red but also the blue
And while the right have turned pro at getting off their rocks
The Dems have the gov who f#%*ed in his socks
And lets not forget the guy from the Garden State
Who let an Israeli man determine his fate
And what about our friend with the pricey hair
His wife was getting chemo but he didn’t seem to care
Back to our hero Mark who claims it is love true
Just what, I ask, in fairness, is a married man to do?
Bow to public pressure? With his wife and children stay?
It seems to me that this champ needs an ending less cliché
To Argentina our protagonist should depart
Do not cry for him in this matter of the heart
And if he fails to find his destiny with this particular mujer
At least he can come back for an appearance on Colbert!
“Gov. With Latina Quite Curvaceous”
Guess he found someplace finer
Than his home state of South Carolina
Who’d have expected such an abomination
From the chair of the Republican Governors Association?
It would almost be hilarious
If the situation were not so precarious
Now it’s anyone’s guess who is going to be
The presidential nom for the GOP
They’ve lost Ensign and now Sanford too
Oh, what are the good ol’ boys gonna do?
With all the trouble that they’ve had
That chick from Alaska ain’t looking so bad
A start toward 2012 that is anything but auspicious
But oh, how exceedingly delicious!
What a jolt from a man so very feckless
Conduct absolutely reckless
For his spouse and kids we do mourn
As he is now the object of public scorn
We are quite surprised he had such temerity
Considering the consequences and their severity
“I just met a girl named Maria” he is reported to have said
She rendered him unable to think with his (larger) head
At the Atlanta airport he was given away
In Buenos Aires he wanted to stay
Far had he been from the Appalachian Trail
His staffers just happy his paramour was not male
In that vein, for release he did not have to beg
Certainly he was no Larry Craig
And while his behavior does appall
At least he wasn’t getting it in a bathroom stall
The impact of his actions was far from de minimus
Seems he was getting his own package stimulus
Not home with his boys on Father’s Day
With his sweet little novia would he rather play
Back in the 90’s he voted to impeach
For him Clinton’s saga had no lesson to teach
Though not with an intern named Lewinsky
His chica was surely also on bended knee
His cheating is not what got his cronies hot under their collars
Their ire wasn’t raised till they learned he had used tax dollars
None seemed to mind that while at home surely was he pretending
Only now are they perturbed that state money he was spending
His emails made public for all to read
At least they’re more vibrant than his legislative screed
What’s with these Republicans and their illicit trysts today
Don’t they get enough pleasure writing checks to the NRA?
To be fair, it’s rampant across the aisle too
Plaguing not just the red but also the blue
And while the right have turned pro at getting off their rocks
The Dems have the gov who f#%*ed in his socks
And lets not forget the guy from the Garden State
Who let an Israeli man determine his fate
And what about our friend with the pricey hair
His wife was getting chemo but he didn’t seem to care
Back to our hero Mark who claims it is love true
Just what, I ask, in fairness, is a married man to do?
Bow to public pressure? With his wife and children stay?
It seems to me that this champ needs an ending less cliché
To Argentina our protagonist should depart
Do not cry for him in this matter of the heart
And if he fails to find his destiny with this particular mujer
At least he can come back for an appearance on Colbert!
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